


Standards

by panpipe



Category: Super Junior
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-09
Updated: 2009-12-09
Packaged: 2017-10-13 04:14:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/132711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/panpipe/pseuds/panpipe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Unrequited Ryeowook/Henry that turns into Sungmin/Ryeowook. Ryeowook is upset to find Henry has other close friends—namely, Sungmin. Set during the production and promotion of the Sorry, Sorry album.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Standards

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted [here](http://panpipe.livejournal.com/104609.html#cutid1).

It's weird, being back in Korea, recording in Korean, and seeing all of Super Junior for more than a month at a time.

It's even weirder going to the break room to talk to Henry, and finding Sungmin already sitting beside him, laughing and making jokes.

The worst part, Ryeowook thinks, is how happy Henry looks at that moment, talking to someone other than him. He knows intellectually that Sungmin was Henry's friend first, that when the fans were awful and angry Sungmin was the one who held his hand and whispered encouragements in his ear, but rational thought has never been Ryeowook's strong point with respect to Henry. Instead, all Ryeowook can think is that _he's_ the one who has been beside Henry these past few months in a foreign country (though Korea was a foreign country for Henry, Ryeowook admits grudgingly), speaking a weird foreign tongue (well, okay, actually Korean was more foreign to Henry than Chinese was, so maybe that doesn't work either)—

Well. Whatever. It still makes Ryeowook angry, so he turns around and leaves without saying anything to announce his presence.

 

Ryeowook starts leaving rehearsal as soon as he can, in the hopes of finding Henry before Sungmin does. He's successful, most of the time, but Ryeowook quickly learns that Sungmin has no qualms about invading personal space—personal space being, of course, Ryeowook's alone time with Henry.

Sungmin sees the two of them alone, having fun _without his presence_ and decides that obviously what they need is more Sungmin.

Ryeowook wants to scream. He hardly ever sees Henry anymore, and he doesn't need _Sungmin_ stealing away what little quiet moments he can make time for.

The major problem, though, isn't that Sungmin can't understand that Ryeowook wants to be alone with Henry, but rather that _Henry_ can't understand that Ryeowook wants to be alone with him. Henry will say that it's "totally awesome" his two best friends can get along so well, and then he and Sungmin will share a smile and a giggle. Ryeowook stares at the wall ahead of the couch and tries to decide if he wants a hole to swallow him up or if he wants to strangle Sungmin and Henry first.

 

Ryeowook's personality is quiet, shy, non-confrontational—basically anything that is a synonym for introverted is a match. He'd always thought that's why he and Henry were able to become so close in China, because their personalities were so similar.

But now that Ryeowook is back in Korea, closely watching Henry's relationships with others in the company—well, okay, mostly just Sungmin—he realizes that perhaps he and Henry aren't as similar as he'd once thought.

Henry had talked about his friends in Canada, and Ryeowook had thought they sounded like a rowdy bunch, but he'd always thought Henry was the shy, quiet observer in the group.

He realizes now that this probably wasn't the case, seeing as whenever Henry teams up with Sungmin, it's often to instigate some kind of prank (often on Ryeowook) or practical joke (with Ryeowook as the victim) or to pester some poor unsuspecting soul (Ryeowook). Henry laughs louder, talks louder, speaks faster and with more enthusiasm and confidence, and is generally more carefree around Sungmin.

It's almost enough to make Ryeowook want to retreat within himself, run away, give up. The only thing he can imagine that would be worse is if the company were to, for some reason or another, require him to spend even more time around Sungmin.

 

Of course, this is exactly what happens. The company decides that yes, of course Sungmin is the best person to help write lyrics for the song Ryeowook composed, why would Ryeowook think he wasn't qualified?

Ryeowook can't imagine anything he'd like less than co-writing a song about love with Sungmin (especially when he'd composed the song while thinking of Henry). He tries to avoid their weekly lyric meetings as much as possible.

 

Henry pulls Ryeowook aside, and after hours of rehearsing and recording for the new album, Ryeowook is too tired to even think of resisting as Henry stops pulling and starts dragging him into a nearby restroom.

Through Ryeowook's haze of exhaustion, he notices Henry's angered expression. "What," he asks, realizing belatedly that it sounds less like a question and more like he's ready to snap at any given moment.

"You know you're both my best friends, right?" Henry asks, crossing his arms.

"I—" Ryeowook begins, ready to deny everything, when Henry clamps a hand over his mouth.

"I know you want to tell me that everything's alright, but hyung," he says, narrowing his eyes accusingly, "I've known you for months now. You're lying. I just want to know why."

And in that moment, it's like every sense of self-preservation and self-control drains out from Ryeowook's body. He's tired, and he's lonely, and he's angry and ready to abandon all sense of reason.

"You're mine!" he blurts out, spluttering through the fingers Henry's got pressed over his lips, and it's the one thing he's been trying to deny ever since Henry first shared a secret smile with him in China, as everyone else was making fools of themselves.

Henry blinks, slowly, and doesn't react fast enough to stop Ryeowook as he yanks Henry's hand away and takes off running.

 

It's awkward and it's embarrassing but when Henry sits next to Ryeowook on the couch and explains that he's very sorry but he doesn't feel the same about Ryeowook and that they'll always be best friends and not to worry about Sungmin because they aren't dating either or anything, Ryeowook doesn't run away, and he doesn't pretend it isn't happening. He listens, says he understands, smiles and says he's sorry for causing Henry to worry.

He spends the rest of the evening glumly staring at the wall in Kyuhyun's room as Kyuhyun pats him on the shoulder sympathetically and blessedly makes no teasing remarks. Kyuhyun, despite the joking personality he's cultivated recently, has always been surprisingly sensitive when it's needed.

 

Unfortunately for Ryeowook, the next day they start to choreograph the Sorry Sorry dance, and as if it weren't already hard enough that the choreographers kept talking in English and expecting them to learn the dance faster, Ryeowook found that his worst fears had come true: They had indeed choreographed Ryeowook and Sungmin "dancing" together during the song.

And, as if continuing Ryeowook's streak of extreme misfortune lately, Sungmin starts off the dance by laughing and saying, "I bet Henry will get a kick out of us performing this move, eh?"

Ryeowook's mind flashes to yesterday, and—probably as some kind of defensive measure—shuts down entirely. The only thing he remembers about dance practice that day is a lot of yelling at him to lean into Sungmin's touch, which is exactly what he wants to avoid.

He runs from the rehearsal room, mumbling something about having to get dinner started for everyone so that they can all eat as soon as possible.

 

What makes things the hardest is seeing Henry punch Sungmin on the shoulder, or seeing Henry wrap his arms around Sungmin's waist, or seeing—well, seeing him do any multitude of things he _used_ to do with Ryeowook when they were in China.

Or maybe the hardest part is seeing Henry trying so hard to smile around him, to see Henry trying so hard to chip past the defenses Ryeowook has raised, trying so hard to reclaim the easy friendship they'd had before he'd screwed everything up inside his head.

 

Sungmin confronts him after a week of rehearsals that are going nowhere fast. "We have to perform this soon, you know, and we can't let the fans see that you think my touch transmits the plague."

"I don't think your touch will give me the plague," Ryeowook bites off, annoyed. They've been practicing for five hours already, and the choreographers have already lectured him enough. He doesn't need to hear it from Sungmin too.

"Yeah, well," Sungmin says, angrily stuffing his work out clothes into his duffle bag, "that's what you make it seem like."

Ryeowook pointedly pretends Sungmin doesn't exist and continues to gather his things together.

After a few moments of silence, Sungmin's hands stop moving, and Ryeowook finds himself unconsciously looking up at Sungmin's face to see what's changed.

"You've got Henry really worried," Sungmin says, and the lightness in his eyes is gone, replaced with an emotion Ryeowook hasn't ever really seen on the other man's face before.

Normally, Ryeowook would care. As things currently stand, however, Ryeowook doesn't bother thinking about it any further because 1) He has decided not to care about anything Sungmin does, and 2) Henry is still a touchy subject. "That's none of your business," he says as he forcefully throws his sneakers into his bag.

Sungmin grabs his arm, and twists it so that Ryeowook is facing him. Sungmin's eyes are hard, unforgiving. "It's entirely my business. He's my _friend_." With that, Sungmin lets go of Ryeowook's arm, slides his duffle bag on his shoulders, and strides out of the room, leaving Ryeowook feeling miserable, guilty, and thoroughly, utterly alone.

 

"I'm sorry," Ryeowook says to the air as he prepares dinner. Henry is on the couch watching TV, having been invited over for dinner by Sungmin, and though Ryeowook isn't looking in that direction, he can still hear as Henry scrambles for the TV remote, pauses the program he's watching, and forcefully twists around to face him.

"What?" he asks.

"I said that I'm sorry," Ryeowook repeats, hoping against hope that none of the other members walk in on this conversation. It's embarrassing enough already.

"I—For what? I mean. You don't have to apologize."

Ryeowook's just finished chopping the vegetables, and he throws them in the food processor. He stares at it blankly for a few moments before saying, "No, I should. I shouldn't have just started ignoring you without any explanation." He pauses, and takes a deep breath before continuing. "I'm okay, you know. I mean. We're okay. We're still best friends, right?"

Henry nods vigorously, and Ryeowook feels like a weight has been lifted from his shoulders. He just hopes Henry feels the same.

 

It's strange, because talking to Henry again has inexplicably made dancing with Sungmin infinitely easier. Well, perhaps not infinitely. Ryeowook's dancing is still awkward and robotic and not at all fluid like Sungmin's but—it's a start, especially for someone whose dancing skills are subpar by idol standards. Sungmin smiles and congratulates him after the rehearsal, joking that he's grateful to see the audience won't be accusing him of carrying some horrifically contagious disease.

And then suddenly it goes from being slightly less awkward while dancing to going out for drinks after rehearsal and staying out to chat with Sungmin and Henry late into the night, before being dragged back to the dorm.

"I knew you two would get along," Henry says as he and Ryeowook ride the elevator alone one night. "You need someone more extroverted than me to bring out the best in you."

The elevator doors open before Ryeowook can even open his mouth to question what Henry means, and before he realizes what's happening, he's waving to Henry's quickly disappearing figure.

 

Ryeowook figures it out quickly enough after Henry texts to cancel their shopping date, apologizing and saying that he hopes Sungmin's company can suffice in his place.

Ryeowook understands because it's rather obvious what Sungmin wants when Sungmin stands a little too close, or grasps hold of his hand for just a little too long, and most especially when Sungmin smiles and holds eye contact for longer than Ryeowook is comfortable with.

Later that night, he texts Henry, as if hoping to hear a different answer than the one he knows is the truth. "Did u just set me up w/ Sungmin" he sends, and then lies back on his bed, hoping against hope that Henry will deny everything.

Unfortunately, one of Henry's best qualities is being painfully honest about these things.

 

"I thought you'd decided to be friends with Henry again," Donghae inquires during lunch break, a light laugh accompanying the statement to make sure Ryeowook knows he's not entirely serious. It's not that Ryeowook and Henry are fighting or anything; it's just that everyone can see that when Henry winks at Ryeowook, Ryeowook harrumphs, glares, and charges out of the room, cheeks flaming.

Ryeowook grits his teeth, and clenches and unclenches his palms. Donghae raises his eyebrows.

Ryeowook sighs. "I'm merely ignoring him until he decides to be sensible."

Donghae's eyebrows go higher.

Ryeowook is sure Donghae will see the ridiculousness of the situation. After all, Donghae enjoys a good laugh more than anyone else in the group.

"He's trying to set me up with Sungmin."

"Oh," Donghae says, sounding much less surprised than Ryeowook thinks he has any right to. "Is that all?"

Ryeowook nearly jumps out of his seat, and at the last second manages to restrain himself. "Is… that… all…?" he asks slowly. "Don't you realize how silly this all is?"

Donghae cocks his head to the side—the same movement that always makes Ryeowook wonder if Donghae was born on some distant planet and not just Mokpo. "He'd be good for you," Donghae says, as if that settles everything.

Ryeowook decides he doesn't want an explanation. After all, if he doesn't acknowledge it, it's not really happening, right?

 

But Sungmin is getting bolder and bolder during the dance and even though the change is almost imperceptible, it's still giving Ryeowook shivers on stage—which is decidedly uncomfortable in a studio filled with thousands of screaming fans.

Ryeowook tries to mention as much to Sungmin after one such performance, and is instead greeted with Sungmin laughing, and then he's saying something—maybe it's "Would you prefer _this_ ," but Ryeowook isn't sure what _this_ is and he doesn't want to ask and he most certainly doesn't want to be pulled into a supply closet and—

He most certainly didn't want to know that Sungmin has got to be the best kisser he's ever known.

 

It's weird, because Ryeowook is sure relationships aren't supposed to work like this. He's pretty sure relationships are supposed to involve a confession, some awkwardness, a getting to know each other period—and there is most certainly supposed to be some sort of _dating_ involved.

He's pretty sure a relationship shouldn't consist of being inappropriately groped on stage, and then being weak in the knees and out of breath in a supply closet somewhere after the performance.

Worse still, he is _most_ sure that he shouldn't be going along with this so easily. Ryeowook has _Standards_ ; he has _Ideas_ about what a relationship is and isn't.

And he knows this doesn't qualify.

But there's something about how Sungmin's eyes light up and his smile quirks to the side as he's dragging Ryeowook into his bed, how they kiss and try to be quiet and not giggle too loudly because Kyuhyun's in the next room and he's a ridiculously light sleeper.

Perhaps what he's most sure of, and what is most frightening, is the fact that he thinks Henry and Donghae were right: Sungmin's exactly what he's needed.

It's just that. Well. He's not sure that Sungmin needs _him_.

 

He doesn't need hand holding or heartfelt confessions or moonlit dinners, because—well, mostly because as an entertainer, that's one thing he's had to give up in every relationship he's pursued.

He just wants to know that if he doesn't go along with Sungmin's whims, Sungmin won't find someone else to replace him.

After weeks of worrying, not sleeping from worrying, not eating properly from worrying, not—well, one gets the idea. After weeks of this, Henry calls him on the phone.

"Sungmin's worried about you" are the first words out of his mouth, they and are so entirely _not_ what Ryeowook expected that all he can do is sit silently on the other end, opening and closing his mouth like a fish.

After a few beats of that, Henry repeats himself. Normally, Ryeowook would immediately reassure him that no, everything was fine, no one needed to worry, but Ryeowook is feeling insecure and petty and silly, so he asks instead, "What did Sungmin say?"

He can almost feel Henry roll his eyes. "He says that lately you're distant and that he can tell you're tired and stressing but you won't tell him a thing and he's really worried that he might have done something to upset you. You know, he acts confident and everything, but he's more like you than you'd think, hyung. Tell him what's bothering you, okay? I'm sick of getting calls from him at 3AM and having to listen to him cry about how you don't love him anymore."

They chat long enough for it to be polite, but Ryeowook doesn't pay much attention.

Tomorrow he'll talk to Sungmin, and tomorrow he'll stop worrying quite so much. Maybe those "ideas" and "standards" of his didn't mean as much as he thought they did.


End file.
